Portuguese Red Tape
I have decided that I cant take much more of Portugal. I have decided
to leave. It will take some time to re-organise my affairs, and work
out where to base my office in the future, but the stress of living in
this country is getting to me.
The Algarve may be a great place to retire to, but if you need to do
business here, or get involved in the way things work then life can be
a nightmare.
I want to sell my house. Normally, I would need to produce a set of
deeds to show I own the place, and to clarify exactly what it is I do
own. Normally one would simply go to a drawer, or to the bank, and get
them out, show them to an estate agent, who would make a copy of the
relevant bits, and that would be that.
In Portugal it's not so simple. Here is the list my local friendly
estate agency has given me of the documents they need.
Certidao Registo: This is the
basic land registry document showing the status of the property and
where it sits within the scheme of things.
Caderneta urbana: This document
shows the land which is classed as urban, and shows (hopefully) your
house sitting on that correct classification.
Caderneta rustica: This shows
the rest of the land; the garden, fruit trees, maybe the threshing
ground for the grain, and so on.
Licenca de habitacao:
Habitation license, to prove you have the right to live in the building.
Registo de sociedade: Heck, I
dont know what that is. And there is one more, which I cant even read.
Oh yes, and then there is the energy
certificate. The last time I got one of those the guy made one
for me without even bothering to come and see the property. He knew it
was rubbish, I knew it was rubbish, the purchaser knew it was rubbish,
and so did the bank manager, but it cost me €360.
I also had to get someone to look at all these forms and make a digest
of them. In short, copying them all out again. This cost me a further
€450. Yet another total waste of money.
I ask you; do we need all this?
Never mind something like the electricity supply going down two or
three times a week, let get onto some disarmingly simple.
I want to see my telephone bill. It used to be printed on a piece of
paper that was sent to me each month and I could check the numbers I'd
dialled. Now things have improved. My bill no longer shows the complete
narrative, I have to look it up online. I dont mind that, but I would
expect to be able to type in my name and customer number and the system
should allow me to create a username and password. But this is Portugal.
Are you ready?
I go to the company office and complain I have no narrative of calls
made. I'm told I can see this online, but the lady will need to set
this up. Oh good, I dont have to do it. How nice? Except that she has
to write to the company to tell them I want to see my bill. They will
then write to me, and give me a magic number.
Four weeks later this magic number arrives. I try to enter it into the
login section of the telephone company website but it rejects my
attempts. I therefore drive over to the office again. It's twenty miles
away, so that is a forty mile round trip using up a gallon of petrol
and wasting an hour of my morning. The lady tells me the details are
now out of date. They auto-destroy after fifteen days. She tells me she
will write again to the company and ask them to send me out another
magic number. When I receive it I must immediately email it to her, and
she will validate it. She will then send something to me. I'm not yet
sure quite what it is she will send me, but when it arrives I can
possibly, just possibly, type it into the website and set up a password
and username. On the other hand, I wouldn't bank on it. In the meantime
I still dont know what calls I am being billed for.
Honestly folks, I simply cant cope with much more of this crap. I
thought I had a life to lead. It's about half past four each day before
I can get started after going through all this nonsense. It really is
time to move somewhere sane.
john