Chapter Thirty-Eight - It's
All Over
A week later I spent the
evening with Cindy and Terry, and their parents. It was late
when I walked back down the hill. Ann was sitting by the
fire reading.I was a bit puzzled.
"Did you know they were having a baby?""What!" shrieked
Annabel, and stared at me aghast."Cindy is pregnant.
Didn't you know they had agreed to have a child?""This is the first
I've heard of it.""Apparently they
thought it might help to keep the relationship together.""He never told me.
He always said he wanted to leave her but he hadn't the
courage to just get up and go. Oh Johnny, I don't believe
it.""I had a long talk
with Cindy upstairs. She said they had decided to make
another go of the marriage, or something like that.""But when did this
happen? I mean, how does she know she's pregnant?""Well, how does
anybody know they're pregnant?""But if she knows
she's pregnant that means he must have decided to do this
while he was seeing me, and telling me how unhappy he was
living with her. He kept on telling me he'd like to leave
her, but was scared she'd commit suicide if he did. But..."
She stopped and looked across at me. "But that means he was
telling me lies all the time if he'd decided to have a
child. He must have been just playing games with me.""All I know is that
she was sure a couple of days ago, and that they've been
trying for the last month or so. Now that is according to
her, but if that's right, then he has been somewhat leading
you on.""Oh Johnny, it's not
fair. People shouldn't do things like that. You shouldn't
say all those things if they aren't true, and.... I mean....
He says all that to me, and the next day he's telling her
the exact opposite."What am I doing? Why
do I go and give her a cuddle? Why on earth don't I laugh
and tell she deserves it?She looks so sad and
small sitting on the edge of the settee staring into the
fire. I feel just like I did when the concrete block fell
off Cephren's pram and smashed into her toes. I dont mind
her going off with someone else to escape for a while from
me. She comes back happy and bright eyed, and she's nice to
me. Why should I complain? But what is she doing with Terry?
She is trying to take things to another level when the
parties don't fit and the circumstances don't fit.The fire dies down.
Neither of us does anything about it, and the room begins to
grow cold. It isn't just the room that is cold. The two
silly people sitting in chairs staring at nothing are cold
as well, but no-one notices, and it is another half an hour
before I go over to Ann, put my arm around her shoulder and
suggest we go to bed.* * * * *
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