Chapter Forty-Seven - The
End
Christmas came. I
bought Annabel a book on Chinese cooking, and she
bought me a rather beautiful set of chopsticks. I was
puzzled. Why had she shopped around and found such a
nice present when she obviously didn't care for me any
more?We
invited mother in for dinner, and Annabel made a
Chinese meal. Mother sat at table with her overcoat on
and sniffed at the food, making sarcastic comments
about foreign cooking, and left three quarters of her
meal on the plate. She didn't even stay for the sweet."Thank
god she's gone. I don't know why she bothered to come.
If she cant find anything nice to say why doesn't she
keep quiet?"And
so the common enemy brought us together a little. We
sat in the drawing room watching the flames burn
through a massive yule log I'd lugged in from down the
valley. The kids were systematically eating their way
through piles of sweets and we played silly games.We
were happy families for a day, maybe almost a happy
family for a week.Annabel
was pleased because at long last the council had found
her a flat and she was going to move in the first
monday in January.I
hired a van, and we made two journeys, bringing up her
things. Annabel went round sweeping white specks off
the carpet, and looking smug. She walked from her
living room into her kitchen, and into her bathroom.
It was all hers. It wasn't mine. It wasn't shared. It
was all down to Annabel.No
doubt she wasn't aware she had been all through this
before. This was Annabel's first home-coming, and she
was thrilled and excited, and her hair bounced, and
her eyes sparkled, and she said silly little things in
a sudden high-pitched voice, and she kept stopping and
looking around, that smug smile playing about her
features.I
was pleased she was happy. She was even nice to me,
and gave me a little hug after she'd made a cup of
tea.I
was happy, and didn't even notice she had left me.* * * * *
After
tea I kissed her goodbye and drove home. I was
dreaming all the way back. Maybe things would be
better between us if we lived apart. Maybe this was
all for the good.I
turned into the drive, walked up to the house and let
myself in. I wandered into the drawing room and
started playing the piano. I could have sworn the room
was emptier than before. I stopped playing. Everywhere
was strangely silent. I got up and walked into the
kitchen. It was very quiet in there as well. I
suddenly felt lonely, walked back into the hall,
climbed the stairs, and wandered along the landing.
The children's rooms were empty, Ann's painting room
had been stripped bare. I wandered out again, and
turned towards our bedroom. The furniture was still
all there, but the chest of drawers at the far end of
the room was empty, and so was the wardrobe.I
opened a window. I could hear the waterfall in the
distance, but I heard it through that strange eerie
silence. It was as if the house and garden had stopped
breathing.* * * * *
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