Sex and Custard


Sexy American Chicks & Custard

Sexy American Chicks & Custard

Train stops
I look out
Edirne
it's the frontier
I need my money back

    How long before the train leaves?

He shrugs.
    Train goes when train is ready.

Train corridor
a man approaches
I go left
he goes left
I go right
he goes right
He is carrying a tray of custard creams
I duck under his tray
 Cut!
Carriage corridor
long windows
horizontal bar across the glass

Cut!
I duck
he lifts tray
tray hits brass bar
tips
custard up
custard down
floor is yellow custard
sluicing down the corridor
seeping under sliding doors
sticky

Cut!
I walk
I need my money
I run
I am giggling
I run into office
I fumble for my form
giggling
I am having hysterics
custard
yellow custard
sticky down the corridor

Prim office man
looks stern
I am helpless giggling
yellow custard everywhere

I sign the form
He gives me useless Turkish lira

I am standing on the platform
I have stopped laughing
I climb back in
I really am not laughing

Cut!
There is a man, with brush and bucket
hosing down the carriage
I am not laughing

Cut!
There are two Turks in my compartment
Shit!

    Out! Out!
I scream

Toothless smiles

    Full!
    Complete!

Toothless smiles

    Corps diplomatique
I scream
and wave my passport

They leave

I giggle into the Bulgarian plain
I giggle into the night
I giggle into my diplomatic sleep

Cut!
Morning comes
the bright Bulgarian morning
white blossom drifts across the railway cuttings
the train whoops through villages
yokels wave from bicycles
school children wave from gates

She stands beside me
I smile
Isn't it wonderful
the white
the sun
the waving children
the ancient yokels
Cut!
    You're English?
I turn
She's pretty
Hey, she's pretty!

Cut!
    Of course I'm English
    why not?

    Ha
she says
    I thought you were Turkish

    What?

Cut!
I look down
I'm English
I hold out my arm
and look carefully at my hand
I'm English
I turn to look at her
She's American.

    I thought you were Turkish.

    What?
she screams
    Why?

    You were sitting with all those turks

    There was nowhere else to sit

I turn, wave an arm towards my compartment

    It's empty
    It's yours
    it's specially reserved for Sexy American chicks

    I'll get my things

Cut!
I'm a bum
my lucky number's one
but when there's two
there's room for fun

Cut!
Turks are watching
standing in the corridor
the blind is down
the door is locked
one is peeking thru a chink

I pull her blouse aside
and kiss her

There is a scuffle in the corridor

Cut!
I get up
open the door
    Shoo!
I scream
    I cannot see the view
    This is your window
I draw a box in the dust
upon the floor
    This box
    you
    This box
I draw another
    Me

Cut!
We sit
back to back
feet on seat
wiggling our shoulders
touch to touch
feeling her
feeling me
with our shoulders and our arms
then feeling with our heads
hair brushing into hair
the performance
brings the audience

    I spy with my little eye

        Is it inside or outside?

    Outside

        But I'm facing the wrong way to see

    So what?
    Guess

She guesses
She's right of course
because
I hadn't thought of anything

I try to guess
hers
It's the same letter
are you serious
of course I'm serious

I rub my shoulders against her
and cannot think
of a single thing beginning with H
as our heads
and our hair entangle

Cut!
I've got a better game
    I have to touch you
    and you must guess
    what I really want to touch

        Pathetic
        with a male
        that's obvious

    We have ten hours

I reach up her back
and under her shirt

        You want to touch my bust

    Idiot
    you dont have tits
    on your back

        I thought
        you were trying to get under
        my bra straps

Silence

        What on earth would you want to touch
        up there

    your hair
    darling
    i just
    decided
    that H
    is for Hair

I move a hand down
her side
down
to the elastic
of her knickers
feel beneath
then

        That's
        more like
        a man
        you want to touch
        my bottom

Silence

        Oh!
        You're kinky
        like women's clothes

Her turn

She feels under my shirt
        God you're bony
        When did you last eat

    It's all that
    fucking
    American
    chicks
    it
    takes
    it out
    of you

Her hand is resting on
my rib cage

    You
    aren't kinky too?

        I'm a good
        all-American
        girl

    hmm…
    heading towards my cock?

        Hopeless
        male egotism
        wishful thinking baby

    You like
    hairy chests?

        Your turn

I have a cunning
idea

I reach one hand up
and under her bra
and cup one breast

        But you've already got there

    Nope

        You dont want to
        feel my
        bra
she sniffs

    Nope

        It's Psycho
        You really hate
        me
        because your mother
        warned you
        about girls
        so you want
        to strangle me

    It's easy
I bring up the other hand
cup her other breast
and squeeze
    I like you.

She wriggles
pushes out her tits
and shakes her
hair

        We're being watched

    Who cares
    let's give them a show

Cut!
* * * * *